The Prophecy

One thing I loved about being on the trip were the times the team would sit outside after the kids returned to their dorm and just talk and pray. If we were sitting outside under the trees, someone was definitely going to prayed and prophecied over... usually led by McKade.

One night, this was exactly what happened. Everyone took their turns getting prayed over. Some people were prophecied that the hand of God was working through them, some got blessings, some got parts of their purpose (things they had not shared with anyone) confirmed through words the team spoke over them. It was amazing and beautiful all at the same time.

When it was my turn, McKade spoke some things over my future that I have treasured and held on to since then. However, after that, he was silent and said that God had me in Africa for a different purpose than the other team members. He said that God wanted to show me something about my identity and who I was in Christ. After that, he asked God to show the team why I was here. This was more of a general prayer, not one where he waited for an answer.

This word from the Lord has helped so much in making sense of what I learned and my experience in Africa. While on the trip, I struggled at times because I felt like I was a burden to the team or that they felt as if I was "less spiritual" than they because I was not having the experiences some of them were. Some were repeatedly brought to their knees in tears because of the suffering they saw. Some others were having God's spirit visibly poured out on them, one even spontaneously receiving the gift of tongues. And here I was... just chillin. Playing with the kids, not really contributing to conversations. Not because I did not understand or feel where they were coming from, I just had nothing to add.

McKade's prayer at the end summed up what I thought the team thought. Nothing malicious or judgmental, just wondering why I was there and what the Lord was doing in and through me.
Had McKade's prayer at the end not followed God's encouragement towards me, I definitely would have felt out of place and defeated.

The Lord definitely showed me things about my identity and who I am in Christ and even in this world that I could not have gotten anywhere else.

Coming to Mozambique, to Africa, solidified that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. His perfect creation. Those who know me know that my journey through my self-esteem has been a rocky one, filled with self-doubt and comparison. Over the past 4 years, it has changed considerably, but there were still some loose ends that needed to be affirmed.

I cannot adequately explain what it's like to come into a country where everyone looks like you and fully accepts you, even though you're from a completely different culture. To be a standard of beauty because of my brown skin. For my hair to not be an anomoly, but average. And for instant familiarity with a people I would otherwise be separated by through language and geography. My God, it was wonderful.

Something clicked into place at that time, and I have never doubted myself since. His works are wonderful, I know that full well.

The kids had an mp3 player given to them by a visitor, and they played this song constantly. At first I was bashful about claiming it, but now I sing it proudly.

African Queen - 2 Face Idibia